From the Mouth of Babes

When asked by her Daddy what was the most memorable part of her Christmas, John's niece, Ariana, responded without any prompting whatsoever about missing her Uncle Johnny.  JW, of course, missed Christmas because he was in Heaven.  She then added that she also missed her Uncle Jim who missed Christmas with Ariana and her family because he was in Mississippi visiting his family.

I've never been to Mississippi (nor have I been to Heaven) but I'm pretty sure that is an unfair comparison.

Uncle Johnny gave Ariana and her brother a tip of the hat as depicted in the lower left corner of the back cover of the annual picture books her MammaReesee & Pop gave them for Christmas.  (See below image of the front and back covers of their books -- click to enlarge.

A Christmas Gift for JW & Me

For Christmas, John's mom gave me a print of a map of Adams Morgan, DC

My first reaction upon unwrapping it was how much of a kick JW would have gotten out of it.

The first home he owned is slightly to the left of dead center in the print.  His condominium was on Belmont Rd. at the corner with Columbia Rd, the heart of Adams Morgan. (Click on the following image to enlarge).

The apartment we have been living in during the week for the past 3 1/2 years is at the corner of Ontario Rd. and Ontario Pl. which can be found to the left of the top of the "A" in "Morgan."

As depicted below, the print has been hung in "John's room" in our basement.

Missing you, guy -- now and always.

The Warmth of JW's Love Continues to Permeate

A special part of the recent commemoration of the 40th wedding anniversary of John's parents was the presentation of three more "Quilts of JW by Mom" made, in part, out of the remnants of John's clothing.  Pictured below are pictures of the quilts presented to Aunt Sue (JW's godmother), Aunt Mary Ann (one of John's mom's oldest friends), and a special surprise of a second quilt to John's dad (to acknowledge, in part, the time he spent "bacheloring" it in DC while JW's mom stayed in Maryland to work on the quilts).  Pictures of the quilts (below) have been added to the pantheon of quilts on the right side of this blog.

Some Whiskey, a Cigar & Lots of Memories

At JW's memorial.

Zoom Zoom

Came across this picture today of JW taking his little sis out for a spin in his Mazda RX-8 sports car.

The car was one of JW's indulgences when he started being up and coming in the world, an indulgence that he eventually sold when he became a little more practical and decided that he could better apply the money to buying a home.  And who did he sell it to but his little brother, of course, who in turn eventually traded it in for a more practical pick-up truck when it came time for him to buy a home.

More than anything, however, this picture depicts JW indulging his sister as he was wont to do

More Quilts of JW by Mom

What better way to commeorate 40 years of marriage than to present to some very special people yet three more quilts made, in part, out of the remnants of JW's clothing.  Over the summer, John's mom has been diligently working on multiple quilts and presented one to Aunt Sue, JW's godmother, and Aunt Mary Ann, her best friend since high school.  Also, as a total surprise, a second quilt was presented to John's dad, in recognition, in part, for the many nights he stayed alone in DC and commuted by bus so that John's mom could stay in Maryland to work on the quilts.  The warmth of JW's love, through his mom, continues to emanate all around (as evidenced by JW's namesake, John Bentley, embracing the quilt in one of the photos below).

Birthdays

For a very real perspective on birthdays, click on this link for an audio clip from an excellent British TV show, Happy Valley, viewable on Netflix.

A Big Part of a Big Day

As John's mom & dad celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary with all those who meant so much to them over the years, John was there in so many ways. He is always near.

JW Continues to Look Over His Little (Big) Sis

Recall this post from over five years ago when we brought JW's home possessions up to Ithaca, NY when John's little sis moved in to a new residence after having been in Ithaca for two years. His possessions in so many different ways reflected John's personality and spirit. As such, it is entirely appropriate that a lot of John's possessions continue to track his sis as she progresses on her life journey.  After four years in Morgantown, WV, Jes is embarking on a year long internship at the VA hospital in Pittsburgh, PA working with veterans of her and her brothers' generation as they adjust after years of constant war.  

John was always very protective and supportive of his little sis, and he continues to do so today by having his personality and spirit accompany her as she continues to move on to the next stage of her life.

Photos of John's possessions in Jes' new apartment (to include the shamrock quilt made by Mom out of remnants of JW's clothing) are below.

JW''s Quilts Keep On Giving

Recently, yet another "Quilt of JW" by Mom was presented to another special person in John's life -- this time, to one of his most enduring friends, Joe.  John knew Joe since the second grade when JW and his family first moved to beautiful Southern Maryland and JW began to attend Mother Catherine Spalding School in Helen.  This quilt, like all it's predecessors, is made, in part, from remnants of John's clothing.  This photo will be added to the pantheon of quilt photos at the lower right of this blog.

The Eldest Becomes the Youngest

Today, John William, the eldest of our children and the dean of his generation of Leonard sibling offspring, becomes our youngest as his little sis, Jes, surpasses him in age.  Our baby, born more than 7 years after her big brother, turns 31 today.  John, who died at 30 years of age, will forever be young in our minds - but will also forever be Jes' and Mike's big brother.

Yet Another JW Quilt

Today, John's mom got to present yet another quilt made, in part, from the remnants of JW's clothes.  This one is for Barbara who we always regarded as John's "second mom" based upon the amount of time he spent at his best friend Joe's home while growing up in Southern Maryland.  The below photo is also added to the pantheon of "The Quilts of JW, by Mom" below, to the right.

8th Annual Fest in Honor of John's Memory

Yesterday was the 8th Annual JW Kickball & Kegger Fest.  Held under threatening skies and faced with competition from conflicting calendars (not to mention the World Cup), attendance was down from previous years.  Nonetheless, the rain held off, the kickball game got underway, the bands played and a good time was had by all.  There were a number of first time attendees (to include John's classmate, Mike, from St. Mary's Ryken High School).  Another first was the BEER TRUCK pictured below:

There was lots of kibitzing:

Kiddie pools for the little ones (to include another first time attendee, Emma):

More kibitzing:

 Of course the proverbial beer cup kickball game:

Plenty of live music:

And singing:

With games late into the night:

All topped off with the proverbial toast to John:

It was a party in true John-style.

Click on the album below to see more pictures.

8th Annual JW Kickball & Kegger Fest

38 Years Ago Today ...

... JW entered our lives -- and we have forever been the richer for it.

JW had a few nicknames. to include Johnny 5, the name of the robot in the 1986 movie Short Circuit (it's one of the reasons why this blog uses the moniker Johnny). In honor of JW's 38th birthday, have a listen to that movie's theme song.

38 Fathers' Days Ago ...

... JW made me a dad for the first time.  As I always said, John was a much better gift than a tie.  I miss you, guy.

RSVP For 8th Annual JW Kickball & Kegger Fest

All of John's family, friends, classmates, friends of family, friends of friends and any and all who love life the way John did are invited to the 8th annual beer cup kickball game and kegger to be held on the day after John's 38th birthday, June 21, 2014.

The party begins at 2:00 pm with kegs, soda, and appetizers.

The kickball game begins at 4:00 pm.

The food fest begins at 5:00 pm.

Live music!

Activities for children of all ages including moon bounce for kids and kiddie pools (bring children's swimsuits).

The festivities continue until whenever.

RSVP by clicking here.

An Easter Time Requiem For JW

As indicated in this post, shortly after John's death, we somehow brought ourselves to listen to Vin Scelsa's show from April 7th on WFUV in New York. We have always regarded it as a fitting requiem for John, especially since part of it was recorded that fateful Saturday afternoon. For me, it's opening song, Judy Collin's version of the Bob Dylan song "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" has forever since been indelibly associated with that day.

This past Saturday, the Saturday before Easter, which for us is a truer anniversary of John's death than is the calendar date of April 7th, Vin managed to build his entire two hour show around that one song which has so much meaning for us.  If you want to share in the experience, simply click on this link and have a listen.  

When you’re lost in the rain in Juarez

And it’s Easter time too

And your gravity fails

And negativity don’t pull you through

...

Everybody said they’d stand behind me

When the game got rough

But the joke was on me

There was nobody even there to call my bluff

I’m going back to New York City

I do believe I’ve had enough

... "And" Yet Another Renewal

For those not familiar with it, central to JW's memorial at John's parents' home in Southern Maryland is a bench under the shade of three cherry trees identical to those surrounding the Tidal Basin in Washington, DC. One of John’s last days was spent lying with his fiancé under the cherry trees at the Tidal Basin while they were in full bloom. The intent was that his memorial should forever bloom on or around the anniversary of his death as a sign of hope, renewal and salvation. 

As a sign of the unusually cold winter and spring experienced this year, the trees have bloomed their latest yet, having peaked yesterday.

The full story behind JW's memorial can be found here.  To see how his memorial has grown over the years, go to these links for 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013 (and note the differences in when the cherry blossoms bloom each year.  For the record, in 2007 they peaked on April 1st). 

More "and ..."

Recall this earlier post where I wrote about Roger Rosenblatt's reflections in his book Kayak Morning several years after the death of his adult daughter.  In this book, Rosenblatt quotes the Irish short story writer, Sean Ó Faoláin, as saying "that 'and' was the most hopeful word in the English language."

It is in that context that I can make the earlier post today AND this post of the very same day -- on the anniversary of John's death seven years ago.  Those seven years have proven to be nothing but one continuous "and" with JW somehow, someway being a big part of everything that encompassed that "and."  For instance, see the below pictures of John's namesake, the seventh John Leonard in successive generations, aka Bentley!

A Post for April 7th

Broken Circle Breakdown -- a Belgian film about a pickup driving Flemish couple from Ghent with a passion for American bluegrass music who loose their child to cancer -- singing Townes Van Zandt's "If I Needed You" -- somehow seems appropriate on this April 7th. Click on image below to take you to the Vimeo site to view the video (can't embed on blog).



If I Needed You - Johan Heldenbergh & Veerle Baetens - The Broken Circle Breakdown from Menuet on Vimeo.

Then see also this version of "The Wayfaring Stranger":

A Day of Commemoration

Today, for the second time in seven years, on the eve of the 7th anniversary of JW's death, John's mom & dad went to a donor family gathering sponsored by theWashington Regional Transplant Community.  It seems entirely fitting at this time of year to attend a gathering intended to recognize and remember the tremendous gift of life which JW and others made possible by the donation of their organs and tissues.  We heard several donation recipients recount first-hand the impact such donations had on them and their families.  

As a reminder, John's heart was transplanted into a 57 year-old retired realtor. He is married, has four children, and two grandchildren. He was on the waiting list for three days prior to transplant. He suffered from Idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy (IDC), a disease of unknown cause that results in an enlarged heart that does not pump properly. His transplant was a success, and he is in good condition. He is looking forward to returning to some of his favorite hobbies, which include cooking and telling stories to his grandchildren. He is very happy and grateful for this gift of life that John gave him.

John's liver and left kidney were both gifted to a 56 year-old married man who lives in Virginia. Prior to receiving his transplant, he suffered from a non-alcoholic steatohepatitis (NASH) liver disease which is fatal. He was on dialysis for two weeks, and he was on the waiting list for five months. Although he suffered some minor setbacks, his transplant was a success. John's recipient enjoys spending time with his family doing leisure activities. He is very grateful for this second chance at life that John has given to him.

John's pancreas and right kidney was gifted to a 53 year-old woman. She is a retired Verizon employee who has one child and one grandchild. Prior to receiving these precious gifts, she suffered from diabetes. She was on dialysis for nine months, and on the waiting list for seven months. The transplant was a success and John's recipient is in good condition. She enjoys sewing and solving puzzles. She appreciates John's precious gifts.
JW, of course, has had a tremendous impact on others in so many different ways and we are glad to have had the opportunity to participate in honoring this one aspect of his legacy.  Besides, there aren't too many other places where you can be surrounded by hundreds of people where being the parent of a deceased child is, unfortunately, the norm.

Today we also celebrated the 4th birthday of John's niece, Ariana -- as well as the 35th birthday of John's little brother.  Fitting commemorations all around!  Without a doubt, John is so proud.

A Mark of Rememberance

When in high school, JW was interested in many things, to include getting his ear pierced and getting a tattoo. John's Dad, although a product of the 1960's, tended to be a tad more conservative when it came to such mutilations of the body. For example, John's Dad would always agree to JW getting his ear pierced, as long as he allowed his Dad to do it using a hammer and nail out on the work bench in the garage. So it was no surprise that, on his post-high school graduation trip to Ocean City, JW came back with his ear pierced.

It was shortly thereafter that John went and got a tattoo. If memory serves correctly, it was when one of his best friends, Keith, came to visit. Although the summer time, the recollection is of JW coming back home with a long sleeved shirt, somewhat trepidatious about letting his Dad see the tattoo. A photo from Keith's visit is below -- it must have been JW's 18th birthday.

John's tattoo was of the biohazard symbol. It was from the hardcore punk/heavy metal band named Biohazard and the symbol can be seen below.

John's tattoo can be clearly seen in the very same picture which eventually became his prayer card. It is the picture taken of John along the Inca Trail in the middle of a three day hike over two 13,000 ft. peaks on the way to Machu Picchu in the Peruvian Andes. It was chosen for his prayer card because the picture captures the pride and sense of accomplishment John had, both for the successful hike as well as for living a life well-lived.

Well, after almost seven years of thinking about it, and with the encouragement of John's little sis, John's Dad finally took the plunge and got his own biohazard tattoo. Same tattoo, same position on the arm.

Not to be outdone, John's sis also got her own tattoo. It's a four leaf clover with JW's initials in the middle.

Not that anything is required to remember -- but the tattoo is a fitting remembrance that brings a faint smile to my face many times a day -- it is so John!