Lucky Girl

It's a beautiful, sunny day.
Immediately, I want to share my thoughts with you.
I go to my phone, to call like old times,
But suddenly, my worst nightmare again comes true.

I can no longer hear your voice,
Get infected by your laugh,
Vent all my frustrations to you,
And listen when you vent back.

But in this moment of complete despair,
When I start to feel so sorry for me,
I realize how much I WAS able to tell you,
And in this moment, I become free.

How we shared so many experiences,
The good, the bad, but mostly the great;
With both friends and the fam.
I have no regrets,
I now take life to the fullest,
I realize how lucky I am.

Memorial Additions

Thanks to Mary & Tom as well as Gail for the lovely additions.

The Blossoms Have Faded

But not the memories -- thanks to Alex, Steve & Sue, and Mary Ann & Tom for the cherry tress which serve as a living memorial.

A Beautiful Rememberance of John

This blog was created to allow ALL of John's friends and family to share their remembrances of JW. It is a virtual and hopefully perpetual memorial to his life here on earth. The below is a perfect example of such a remembrance which was recently shared with us by our dear friend Joayn and is reproduced with her kind concurrence.


Dear Clarice & Bill:

I think of JW all the time, but of course this weekend, in a special way. I am making a quilt for Crystal & Stephen II & because of that have been going through old pictures. I "cracked up" when I found this one. I love it because to me, it is JW.

The background on this is that it was taken when Jes & Stephen II made their 1st communion. Stephen II received a camera (his first) that day. He was like a crazy boy taking pictures of everything (which reminds me -- if you need a shot of your downstairs bathroom -- I have it!!). Any way, I can only imagine that Stephen II "conned" JW into allowing him to take this. To me the look on JW's face is that of an understanding, but less than thrilled, older brother. It is full of love, understanding & charm & I love it -- him & you.

Much love,

Joayn


Thank you so much, Joayn, for sharing this special memory. We encourage all to share similar memories, either by posting to the blog our by sending directly to us for posting. Would be blog posters need simply send an email to johnnywehardlyknewye@gmail.com .

Remembering John

This past Sunday, April 6th, we had the opportunity to have a get together consisting of Papa, Mike, Gina, Aunt Ticia, Uncle Ken, Mary Ann & Tom plus Mom & Dad as well as Jes, in spirit, who had come down for her big bro's birthday celebration the day before and was in route back to Ithaca. While there is not a minute of the day or night that we are not mindful of JW, it was appropriate at the one year mark to do something special to commemorate John's passing from this world to the next.

First, sitting around the same dinning room table that the Leonard family has sat around for over 30 years forming many fond family memories -- and which the DiStefano and Corso family had sat around for the 50 years before that -- we lit the candle that will forever symbolize John's presence at all future family gatherings around that table, next to our favorite black & white photo of JW.

Following that, Dad took out the box that John's co-workers had filled last year with JW's personal effects from his office. While such possessions are at times banal, they also tend to be intimate representations of our personality since they are what we choose to surround ourselves for the significant part of our life that we spend at work.

From that box, Mom & Dad presented to Papa JW's calendar which had been opened to March 1, 2004, since it contained a quote from John's Dad. It represented John's pride in his Dad and, by presenting it to Papa, Dad's pride in his father. Mom got the lace from Brussels, representing all our fond family memories from when we lived in Belgium. Dad got JW's camel caravan carved in olive wood picked up during JW's travels to Jordon. Mike & Gina got John's Virginia Tech Alumni cup filled with John's loose change, since both of them have stepped up to fill John's shoes as fanatic fans of VT athletics -- even if VT didn't even make the NCAA basketball playoffs this season. Jes got a similar mug filled with even more loose change, this one from St. Mary's College of Maryland and which Jes had previously presented to John as a gift (the year she did her Christmas shopping in the campus book store). Aunt Ticia and Uncle Ken got John's piece of the Berlin wall which the Leonard kids had personally chopped out of the wall shortly after it fell (although as related in this earlier post, they complained about not being able to instead stay in the hotel and see for the umpteenth time the movie The Karate Kid).

Mary Ann & Tom, in addition to getting a small Greek plate, another one of John's souvenirs from his frequent overseas travels, were also assigned the task of deciding whether Mike or Jes would get John's home charger for his iPod, since the loving siblings could not decide among themselves who should get it. Dad recommended an essay contest -- 40 words or less, in order to decide the worthy recipient. You can see all of these mementos by clicking on the below picture.

Mementos

After dinner, we all moved outside to John's memorial. Recall this earlier post where we discussed John's homemade beer. After college, John had made a batch of brew for a few successive years but gave up when it never turned out to his desired perfection. For his last Christmas, John asked for the homemade brew kit again and made it early in 2007. He faithfully tracked its aging process in a spread sheet on his laptop -- it was suppose to ferment for about 4-6 months. Well, by now, the beer was well over a year old, but we decided to open it up and try it out at his memorial and drink a toast to JW. As you can see by clicking on the picture below, the beer was actually pretty good. Even Mom had a taste. I guess the longer the aging, the better the taste. Also as you can see in the pictures, Mary Ann and Tom presented Mom & Dad with a plaque for JW's memorial. Mike & Dad then each smoked a cigar to John's memory, although as you can see in the pictures, Mike had problems lighting his cigar in the cold damp air, even with Dad and Gina attempting to shield the wind.

All we can say John, is thanks for the sweet memories, thanks for being you, thanks for your everlasting love.

One Year Later

One Year Later

It's April 7th -- it's been one year. While there is an urge to write something profound at this point in time, the English language does not do justice to what we feel. All we can say, JW, is that even if we knew at the time you were born over 31 years ago, we would loose you so prematurely, we would say so be it -- nothing can compare to the joy you have brought to the lives of your mother and father, to your brother and sister, to Alex, to your Papa and Mammy, to your Grandma, to your Aunts and Uncles and to all your family and friends. And we would not change one iota how we lived our lives together. Nothing between us went unsaid. Furthermore, the pain of your loss pales in comparison to the enrichment you have given to so many others by the way you lived your life and gave to so many others in your simple and unassuming ways. What is extraordinary about you is not the circumstances of your death but rather the unassuming way in which you lived your life and gave to so many others. And somehow you continue to touch others by your otherworldly presence. It is a true parent's blessing to need to live up to the example set by the child. Thank you for so much, thank you for being you, thank you for the everlasting love we share.

John and the Nats

Spring has sprung and among other things, the baseball season is upon us, and as most baseball fans know, the Washington Nationals opened the season this past Sunday in their brand new ball park. Two of my many favorite memories of JW deal with the Nationals.

First, it was one year ago tomorrow that John went to see a Nationals ball game at RFK stadium with Mike, Gina, Jes and Alex in order to celebrate Mike's birthday. JW, of course, was hurting and he showed it -- so much so that Mike told John that he looked bad and he should just go home and bag the game. JW would have nothing of it and -- despite the pain -- told Mike, "no, Bro, it's your birthday and we're going to celebrate it." That's simply the type of guy John was.

The other memory was when the Nationals first came to town several years ago (having moved from Montreal). John immediately went out and brought for himself a Nationals ball cap -- and made sure he got their home cap. As you can see in the accompanying picture, the Nats home cap is red with a big "W" on it. Washington being the political town it is, when I told John that supporters of our current President adopted the cap as a show of support for Bush and his policies (what it being red with a big "W") John was shocked that he unknowingly may have demonstrated such support. He immediately threw the hat in his closet and never wore it again. Instead, he went out a brought the Nats away cap, which of course, is blue (for the good guys).

Renewal Peaked

Apparently, the cherry tress in Southern Maryland don't adhere to the schedule set forth in the Washington Post since it appears that John's Blossoms have peaked -- at least the tree furthest in the distance in the first picture (closest in the second). However, the tree closest in the first picture is only peaking now. Check back to see how many blossoms remain for the next week.